Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
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And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
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That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.