You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How drunk are you?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.