There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.