She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again