You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".