Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (717)

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time

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  (717): just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time http://tfl.nu/oodw
  Replies (4) Good night (1573) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
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  You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,

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  I wanted to be a dolphin.

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  (717): You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it.., (679): I wanted to be a dolphin. http://tfl.nu/th6t
  Replies (10) Good night (4596) Bad night (417)
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  Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?

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  (717): Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast? http://tfl.nu/62uv
  Replies (14) Good night (1357) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.

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  (717): It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards. http://tfl.nu/wgpg
  Replies (2) Good night (1527) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.

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  (717): Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/hix3
  Replies (6) Good night (1597) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt
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  I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.

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  (717): I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets. http://tfl.nu/exmx
  Replies (9) Good night (2309) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on

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  (717): I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on http://tfl.nu/s4r4
  Replies (3) Good night (1470) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  ...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.

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  (717): ...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk. http://tfl.nu/2qzx
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  Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.

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  (717): Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene. http://tfl.nu/3l38
  Replies (8) Good night (3734) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

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  (717): Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/aa8o
  Replies (4) Good night (1268) Bad night (431)
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  He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."

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  (717): He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird." http://tfl.nu/0yzz
  Replies (8) Good night (511) Bad night (2913) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.

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  (717): Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea. (717): OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED. http://tfl.nu/n4s9
  Replies (7) Good night (2955) Bad night (494)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  there not mine if that helps

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  (717): why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter (1-717): there not mine if that helps http://tfl.nu/k00a
  Replies (6) Good night (1911) Bad night (583)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

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  (717): Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake. http://tfl.nu/07i4
  Replies (14) Good night (1362) Bad night (2191) Order T-Shirt
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  The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy

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  (717): The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy http://tfl.nu/dgrf
  Replies (8) Good night (731) Bad night (1978) Order T-Shirt