I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."