Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!