Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.