she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
birth control should be required to get into college
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize