I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize