It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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