ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
