Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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