I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
