is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
