So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
