I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
