Whod you bang
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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