My pussy is not your playground.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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