I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
COCAINE IS GR8
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
