My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
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She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
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The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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