The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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