How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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