I'm going to jail i love you
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
