I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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