its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
