Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
