dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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