That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
