I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
