hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
