I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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