Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
