she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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