The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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