I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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