cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
