I just saw a hot homeless man
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
