I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You can't just leave with hair like that
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
