The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
