Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize