It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
