Having a random hookup so left but love u
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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