I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
