all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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