I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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