Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
