Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
