What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
