the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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