so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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