My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
