Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
