no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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