but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.