I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol