This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize