We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
