I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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