i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
