I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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