Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
