my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
